Like a fad diet, thousands of people, in an attempt to find a personal “sweet spot” in their lives, are turning to simple living. Whether it is branded as minimalism (it is not the same), or whether it is promoted as retreating from society, it still is an attempt to escape from the pressures, angst and discontent they feel. But simple living is misconstrued and misrepresented. It also is the wrong way to approach the effort to reorient our lives.
Instead, we need, not to give up on contemporary ways of living, but to find our focus.
A focused lifestyle may, indeed, be a way of living simply, or a form of minimalism, or it may even be classic materialism, but, above all, it is an individual way of living, not guided or controlled by the standards set by others. It is a technique, though, for living within the world around us, without eschewing the experiences that are significant in our lives.
Many couples, for instance, choose to not have children. In many families, that is a huge disappointment to other family members, who want to see grandchildren in their lives. So, a few couples succumb to the pressure and raise a family.
Other people may prefer to experience adventure, rejecting conventional roots like a house and fancy car. Their friends may question their choices.
Everyone is under pressure to “save for the future.” Yet, it may not be the ideal approach for a lot of us.
A huge divide is building between those that feel we must dedicate our lives to environmentalism, with another, almost equal portion of the population embracing consumerism and self-satisfaction in lieu of responsibility to the world around.
We see polarization everywhere, but, mostly, we see people being squeezed into living their lives in the manner and to the standard chosen by colleagues, whether they are family, friends, co-workers, or the prevailing opinion of the world in which we circulate.
This leads, in every case, to immense stress, regardless of if we recognize it.
Attempts at living a simple life are misguided ways of trying to escape from what we know is a poorer, item-driven way to live our lives, even if we find that we are financially wealthy.
A decade or so ago, a couple of financial wizards decided to break with materialism and turned to a minimal lifestyle. Soon, they had a following of tens of thousands of people on their website, with many more reading their books and attending their seminars. Ironically, they, very quickly, were wealthier than they had been in their old lives, with a net worth of $12 million.
Yes, they have been very generous with the money they earn from promoting minimalism, but the austere lifestyle they promote is incongruent with the potential or circumstance that most of us face.
Even so, their methodology does not address the underlying problems and issues many of us confront. Instead of being governed by money, most of us are governed by opinions. We live in society. We benefit from society, whether it is through material goods, health advances, or knowledge. We cannot reasonably sever ourselves from that world. Yet, we may take issue with the myriad failings of that world around us.
Yes, we can retreat to the wilderness, embrace survivalism, live a prepper lifestyle and reject all the modern conveniences. But we, then, have broken from life. We are living a sustenance existence, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of disgust, sometimes out of anger at the world. With a little effort, we also can live entirely off the grid, even feeding, clothing, and sheltering ourselves independently. It still remains a choice largely filled with emptiness, not unlike being surrounded by gold but with no way to enjoy it.
Or, if we are less severe in our reaction to the world, we can homestead, learning self-sufficiency within the modern world. This is only a few steps from the simple lifestyle that is advocated by the minimalists.
I have been embracing a version of simple living for over forty years. I have been labelled, inaccurately, a minimalist. I know how to forage and survive in the wilderness. I also know how to successfully live in the modern world. But, as decades have passed, I also recognize that my choices are individual choices, suited to my ideals and goals. I do not live in the world alone, though, and that means I am obligated to not infringe on the choices of others.
Still, we often find ourselves at the mercy of those around us if we do not establish boundaries. This is where much of our stress originates. It is difficult to seclude ourselves from what we see as the advantages of others, or to refrain from indulging in every party, gathering, and social event, even when we prefer to be elsewhere. Similarly, we want what others want, because we think that, if it makes them happy, it will make us happy.
Study after study has revealed that having stuff, and even having money beyond a certain point, may actually make us less satisfied and more stressed.
Focused living involves an internalized, not externalized lifestyle. It focuses neither on things nor a lack of things. It focuses on choice. Particularly, on our own, individual choice. It is not a one-size-fits-all philosophy, like a pop diet. It also is not a fast fix solution. In order to focus your life properly, you need to understand yourself better.
A properly focused life has parallels to both a growing plant and an oasis in the wilderness.
Like a young plant sending its first root shoots into the ground, the plant begins with one shoot, then, as it explores the soil, other tendrils branch out, both capturing the nutrients in the soil and anchoring the plant. That is the path of understanding oneself. Begin slowly, then explore your options.
At the same time, living a focused life is like finding your own oasis. Around you may be desert or wilderness, but your oasis is a source of security and comfort, providing all the pleasures you seek at that moment. You may have a distant goal in mind, but the oasis is where you pause and rejuvenate.
Focused living, unlike simple living does not require us to reject material goods, nor does it require us to live a spartan life. It does compel us to find what is important to us and focus on that. For most of us, a corollary of that focus is that we will, indeed, discover that we need less and that we can uncomplicate our daily lives. We may be wealthy, and live a focused, satisfying life. Or we may be in a middle- or even lower-socioeconomic class, and still be living a gratifying lifestyle.
Focus does not mean denying ourselves of our pleasures. Focus gives us clarity, establishes a purpose, and brings an immediacy to the contentment we may be seeking.
The benefits of a focused lifestyle may include relief from stress, depression, anxiety, and fear, without medication or the salve of materialism. We cannot avoid all problems and stressors. Work, family, money, education, social, and career issues always will encroach. By using the techniques involved in focused living, though, we can deal with, minimize, or even eliminate these pressures.