One of the biggest problems that keeps us from achieving what we want to achieve is finding a deeply personal reason to forge ahead.
We may want to clean the house but cannot find the motivation. We may want to explore our interest in creative writing, but our self-confidence—or lack of it—tells us we are not good enough. We may really love classical music, but our male peers may laugh at us, or we may like hiking and mountain biking, but our female cohorts discourage us. Our work may impede our ability to explore the world, or we may want to lead a life more in touch with nature, but family and friends seem to block our path.
We let outside forces dictate how willing and eager we are to embrace our own personal way of living. It is our life. But others live it for us. We go with the flow and sink into a sort of apathy.
The reasons why we fail to make our lives and our goals personal is that it is easier to not do so.
We also may not fully understand what is important to us, or what how to understand our purpose. We all have a purpose and a skill set that fits well with that purpose. But we may ignore it or may equate a particular skill with being our purpose. It is not the same. On the other hand, we may love doing something, but not have the skill to master it.
I spent six years of my life as an efficiency expert. I was good at it. I was great at numbers. But I hated it. After I left my job as an efficiency expert, I started a profit recovery business. My aim, since I had a skill that I enjoyed, was to set up an investigative business that served retail clients.
Soon, my clients found that I could almost intuitively see where they were not maximizing their profits. Soon, I was doing their bookkeeping and taxes and forensic analyses. I was back working with numbers, and I did a fantastic job.
So good, in fact, that I had to close the business, move to a new area and start an actual investigative business. For eighteen years, I was the best in the province. I loved it, but age caught up with me and I had to wrap up the physical part of my operation. Since that was where my passion lay, I decided to sell the business.
I became a writer. Now, I ghostwrite non-fiction books for scores of clients, all who rave about the quality of my work. I love doing the research, love exploring new topics and love writing. I am more than happy to remain anonymous. Being recognized actually bothers me!
I found how to make my passions and motivations personal.
What Is Important to You?
Many of us have very little idea of what really is important to us. Society and friends, advertising and work all play a role in misguiding us as to what we think is important.
A friend has every modern technological gadget. He is a computer expert and thinks that he needs these things to show how on top of technology that he is.
Another knows all the statistics about his favourite hockey team. Problem is that he began cheering for the team when a friend of his was drafted by that team two decades earlier. Th friend lasted only two years, but the obsession with the team by my friend continues. He doesn’t know why he loves the team. The team is important, but he doesn’t know why.
A former friend is a Trump supporter. He has lost many friends because of his near-obsession, yet, even though he acknowledges that Trump has myriad serious character flaws, he insists that Trump was chosen by Christ. Supporting Trump is equated to supporting Christ. Trump is important to him, by default.
Psychology Central provides a 10-item guide for discovering what is important to you. https://psychcentral.com/health/10-proactive-ways-to-figure-out-whats-most-important-to-you
These steps are simple and easy to complete. By finding what is important to you, you will be opening the door to more passion in what you do, closing the door to apathy and indifference, and be able to focus on what your personal purpose in life may be.
How to Overcome your Inertia
You may not even realize that you are suffering from psychological inertia, but, if you regularly finish your day at work, come home exhausted, grab a snack to eat or order in, then “veg out” for the night, you definitely are experiencing inertia. If you find excuses for not gathering with friends when you really want to, but don’t want to take part in the white water rafting they have planned because it takes too much energy, that is inertia.
But, more significantly, if you have dreams and aspirations, imagine the things you would like to do, but take no step toward them, that definitely is inertia.
How do you overcome that unwillingness to take the plunge into an activity or even take the first step?
Imagine the start of the 100-yard dash. The eight runners are in the blocks, waiting. Then the gun sounds and they explode out of their stances. They have been shocked into action.
In order to shock yourself into action, compare the consequences of inaction to the rewards of action.
That shock gets you started.
Use the carrot and stick approach to motivate yourself toward some small objective. Don’t try to achieve your large goals all at once.
Imagine trying to lose fifty pounds. A pound a week seems futile. But the objective of only a pound is more easily obtained, and you can establish periodic rewards for that achievement.
Set realistic objectives, or steps, toward your final goal. And make it visual. In fact, engage all the senses.
A colleague wanted to pay off his mortgage in five years. His goal was to use the money by leveraging his debt-free house to invest in the stock market. It may have been a convoluted idea, but it was his goal. He set up a three-foot cardboard thermometer on his wall to mark his progress. The early marks were spaced closer together than the later ones, but they had equal value. Even though he knew he was deceiving himself, the trick worked as he saw the “temperature” rise quickly on his graph. He ended up paying off the mortgage in fifty-one months.
Most importantly, set clear attainable goals and objectives.
The following link and video provide you with an excellent tool for overcoming the inertia and allow you to get started. https://daringtolivefully.com/overcome-inertia
What Are You Passionate About?
My passion is social justice. I recently watched the old movie, Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. It enraged me. A while ago, I watched a Ted Talk about James White, A Vietnam decorated vet that was denied housing because of his race. My blood boiled. I, like millions of others, was furiously appalled by the killing of George Floyd. But that passion rarely results in action.
So I chose to write a couple of books about racism, got involved in a Beat the Street volunteer program and used my skills to help a First Nations community build an affordable housing project. My commitment to the environment did not cause my choice to live a simple life, but it certainly supports it.
In my earlier years, I simply worked to provide an income for my family. Then I realized I also had an obligation to encourage them to find their passions.
Recently, as age began to catch up to me, I became lethargic. My health, always excellent, began to deteriorate. I was letting my apathy ruin my life. So I kickstarted myself and am now pursuing my passions once more.
I have been fortunate. My passions were clear and I had the opportunity to pursue them.
You may not be so fortunate, but that should not prevent you from, at least, beginning the process of pursuing your passions by finding out what they really are. That leads us back to Psychology Central’s 10-item list. https://psychcentral.com/health/10-proactive-ways-to-figure-out-whats-most-important-to-you#importance-of-priorities
What Is Your Purpose In Life?
A turtle’s shell grows with the turtle as it ages. The nautilus is a colourful marine mollusk that changes its shell regularly as it grows. Your purpose in life should not be that of a turtle, slow and rather aimless. Rather, your purpose should evolve and change as circumstance, experience and passion change.
However, the nautilus shell is essential for its survival, as is the turtle shell.
So how do you find your purpose?
The main key to discovering your purpose is to seek it. Unfortunately, Mary Poppins is not quite right. When a door closes a window does not always open, unless you open it.
What arouses your passions? Not your lusts and loves, but your passion.
What skills do you have, can you develop or want in order to serve that purpose?
Each of us has a unique purpose, yet we often seek to pattern ourselves after others: our heroes and idols. I am in awe of Nelson Mandela. Yet, I will never be him, nor do I have the situations, temperament or motivation to mimic him. But I admire his dedication to his purpose.
I admire Steven Hawking, who overcame physical barriers and a prognosis that would normally have seen him dying by the time he was 35. He lived to 75 and accomplished great scientific things. But I do not have the passion for science which he possessed. I am merely intrigued by science.
Yet, their passion feeds my passion.
I merely have to link that passion to my purpose and skill set to accomplish great things. The same applies to you.
Read more here: https://positivepsychology.com/find-your-purpose-of-life/
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life
Ikigai
Ikigai: the Japanese way to find your purpose in life. There are four interlocking circles in this chart: Do what you love, do what you are good at, do what the world needs and do what you can be rewarded for. Within the interlocking portions, there are more complex factors at play that guide us in finding our purpose. They are: passion, mission, vocation and profession. This video helps you understand those conflicts.
Tim Tamashiro explains how to ikigai in this YouTube video:
The Personal Touch
Finding your purpose is an individual experience. Take the time to reward yourself by finding your purpose and passion in life.