Millions of Americans and Canadians, early in the evening on their Thanksgiving Day, push their chairs at the dinner table backward, pat their stomachs and declare, “I’m stuffed.” Then, in great discomfort, they head to the couch to sleep off the fullness.
The turkeys on the table were not the only turkeys to be so crammed full that they almost needed stitches to hold in the excess.
But, before long, millions of those same Americans head back to the table to force themselves to devour dessert.
“I couldn’t eat another bite” rarely is true when dessert arrives. It is replaced by “I shouldn’t have had that last piece.”
Small wonder the pharmaceutical companies do booming business in Pepto Bismol, Gaviscon and Rolaids during holiday season.
It seems to be in the psyche of the western world that there never quite is enough. We stuff ourselves and go back for more.
Few of those “developed” countries promote moderation. Being successful equates to being stuffed—to having much more than we need and then returning for more. It is the apex of capitalism, but the objective of materialism.
Yet, because we are driven to have more, we never are comfortable with what we have.
Benjamin Franklin said, “Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself to it.” The more we buy the more we want.
Karen Kingston, author of “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui,” says “No matter how many possessions you have, you never feel secure. As soon as you get one thing, there’s always something else you ‘need’. And also, you have the added problem of worrying about losing the stuff you already have. Some of the most insecure people I know are multimillionaires. True security can only come from knowing who you are and what you are here to do.”
Perhaps, in this culture of indulgence, simple living actually is anti-American, or, at least, anti-western thinking. After all, if we do not buy and acquire, we do not support capitalism, because capitalism is built upon individual economic achievement.
Yet, simple living is as much about satisfaction as is achieving financial and material wealth, except it eliminates the desire to stuff ourselves with material markers.
To delineate the two, though, we need to define acquiring excess, or stuffing ourselves, define satiation and define satisfaction. They may seem to be synonymous, but in many ways are quite different.
We know what stuffing ourselves is. Dictionary definitions include “junk,” “gadgets,” “belongings” and “assets.” But another synonym is “obsessions.” That is what much of today’s drive for acquisition is rooted within: an obsession to show what we have achieved. Except it does not.
A hoarder does not gather because they feel good. The hoarder gathers because something is lacking, and they try to fill that void.
“Satiated” also means quenching, appeasing, indulging or filling. This is somewhat similar to stuffing, without the connotation of excess upon excess. Few capitalists are satiated, though. There always remains the desire for more.
Then there is “satisfaction.” Synonyms include gratification, fulfilment, pleasure, contentment and happiness.
Happiness is alien to being stuffed. Overstuffing frequently leads to guilt. But fulfilment and filled also are far apart.
One of the primary goals of simple living is to be fulfilled and find contentment in what we have, rather than angst over what we don’t have or what we desire.
My wife and I began cruising fifteen years ago. A tenet of the cruising lifestyle is that you gain ten pounds on every cruise, because you eat and eat and eat.
We did precisely that. We ate until we were stuffed. Then, the next cruise, we paced ourselves, still overindulged. We gained four instead of ten to twelve pounds.
By our fifth cruise, we adopted our simple living philosophy to cruising. We actually lost weight, but did not deny ourselves the pleasure of trying all the unfamiliar foods available to us. We ate smaller portions, took no more than we needed and savoured each bite. I also learned a great many new recipe ideas.
Now, we enjoy every minute on the cruise, no longer need to take our antacid tablets with us and improve our health with each outing. We have found immense satisfaction with less, because it provides us with more benefits.
A friend bought a very expensive home in a very posh neighbourhood. However, he and his spouse spent so much on the house that they could not afford furniture. They furnished only the living room: the room that could be observed by passersby on the street. They wanted everyone to know they had succeeded. And they suffered for it.
The objective of simple living, then, is to find satisfaction in the things that are important to you, not seek the things that others have so that you can feel significant in their eyes. That sounds easy, but it is not. It is too tempting to try to compete with the supposed success of others, instead of defining your own success.
What satisfies you? Is it travelling? Music? Adventure? Get-togethers? Family? Learning? Hobbies? Find your own success, by identifying the things or experiences that are most important to you.
Personally, I do not like parties and social gatherings, but my wife is energized by them. I like wilderness, nature, animals and travel. She likes social events, travel and family. We find separate time to enjoy the things that appeal to each of us, while occasionally sharing experiences that are less vital to each of us. But in every one of the items that we identify as important, owning stuff is not one of them.
And, in each of our own priorities, we do not overindulge. We do not stuff ourselves, but we do find that we are satisfied with less of the things that others think are important. Freeing up money for the important stuff is much easier when you know what is important, but also when you know when to push back from the table.
It always is well before the words, “I’m stuffed” need to be uttered.
Learning the difference between stuffed, satiated and satisfied has opened a wealth of opportunities to enjoy what we want, for less.
In an obtuse way, I suppose, we are stuffing ourselves with less, and with simple.