According to the World Health Organization (https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/depression-global-health-estimates ), 4.4% of the world’s population suffers from depression. The world’s happiest country, Finland, has a rate of 5.6%, or 27% higher than the global average. United States sees 5.9% of its citizens suffering from depression, or 34% over the average, while Canada sits at 4.7% (2% over). Relying on this set of statistics, some of the wealthiest countries are well below average on one measure of happiness. Except happiness and depression do not occur exclusive of each other.
Incidence of mental illness in North America exceeds 20%, but that is not indicative of happiness, either.
A report on the State of Mental Health in America (https://mhanational.org/sites/default/files/2023-State-of-Mental-Health-in-America-Report.pdf ) says that 21% of adults are experiencing a mental illness. A June, 2022 global report revealed that 45% of people say they have not experienced true happiness in the past two years (https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/global-report-45-of-people-have-not-felt-true-happiness-for-more-than-two-years-301568258.html ).
Yet, an Ipsos survey found a very high level of happiness worldwide, with 64% saying they were very or relatively happy (https://www.ipsos.com/sites/default/files/ct/news/documents/2019-08/Happiness-Study-report-August-2019.pdf ). Canada and Australia led the happiness parade, with 86% each declaring they were happy. But according to a 2022 Gallup poll, only 38% of Americans are happy (https://www.cnn.com/2022/02/02/politics/unhappiness-americans-gallup-analysis/index.html ).
This all seems quite contradictory (and maybe a little depressing). However, the problem is not with our happiness, but how our happiness is evaluated.
What Is Happiness, Contentment and Satisfaction?
The very first problem with all this scientific data is that our plane of reference for it is subjective, as are our responses to the surveys. After all, how do you define happiness, contentment, satisfaction, satiation, or any of the synonyms?
An old song by Ray Conniff says, “Happiness is … different things to different people.” Very true. And even the definition is different.
We let others define the words, and we let others define the feeling. One universal factor in the various studies on life satisfaction is how much control we have over our lives, day to day. We may not feel more or less satisfied with momentary loss of control over a life event, but a generalized feeling of self-determination and self-control do make us more satisfied. That finding is highlighted in studies on economic and social disparities, often showing up in racial differences. The better educated we are, the better our economic status is relative to averages, the better access we have to life-impacting events like health care and opportunity, the more satisfied we become. Or, more correctly, the less stressed and dissatisfied we are.
So, in order to define if we are happy, we need to know where we are in life. Possibly, this may be a major reason why rural people generally are more content with life than urban: less need to compete and live by another’s standards, more relaxed pace, fewer confrontational situations.
The Fragments of Happiness, the Hours of Distress
One of my favorite examples of how we let the outside world dictate emotions to us is about a person driving to work, who gets cut off in traffic by another person, spills their coffee on the dash, and misses the next green light. Immediately, the victim feels distress, probably anger. The entire incident took only fifteen seconds.
That person arrives at work twenty minutes later, still seething. They are out of sorts with fellow staff, and perhaps even customers. In turn, the staff respond cautiously, or angrily, or in avoidance. Now, the entire morning is infected with the negative vibes. Likely, because of the distractions, further minor unpleasant events occur, or the victim perceives the events as unpleasant. They head home, still upset, but now they are upset with how terrible the day turned out.
The coffee accident took a quarter of minute out of the person’s day, yet, that person allowed that brief occurrence to impact twelve or more hours. He or she thinks they had a bad day. They merely had a bad moment, that impacted their happiness for hours.
Are we defining our lives by fragments of time, minor events and perceived problems?
Ask the person just before the accident if they are happy. Probably, the answer is “yes.” Ask them after, the same day will generate a resounding “no.” And yet, if the incident had not occurred, they may have been able to declare that their day was wonderful.
From 2019 to 2022, we lived through more than a moment. We lived with the weight of a global pandemic, and it impacted on us in many ways.
Has the World Changed Since Covid-19?
Every study done since Covid began indicates that the world’s mental health and our attitudes have been impacted significantly by the Covid experience. It is not so much the disease, as what the disease path forced us to endure.
Certainly, mental health has been at the forefront of issues arising since 2022.
We lost control over what we thought to be freedoms. Regardless of which side of the Vaxx divide you fall on, we did lose freedoms, but some insist they were justified, others say they were not. They likely saved us from hundreds of thousands of deaths due to the virus, but now we are seeing the impact of loss of control over our lives, social isolation, fear-inducing information, and an eagerness to develop extreme viewpoints about the issue, without compromise.
This great divide is part of the upsurgence of mental illness in 2021-23, the increase in violence, and the feeling that we have lost a huge part of our social connections. Those social connections are part of what we need for good mental health, yet supposedly scientific measures of happiness focus on material measures, political choices, access to luxuries and other western world measures of comfort.
Comfort and contentment are not the same. Happiness and health, although intertwined, are not synonymous. Satisfaction and success are not closely tied. Our true measures of being happy, or content, or satiated, centre around one feature of human identity: self worth. Abram Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs places self-actualization at the apex of his pyramid. Being the best we can be is the highest level of attainment, according to this ground-breaking psychiatrist’s theory. While we may not always, or all strive for being the best, we need to feel, inside, that we are worthy.
That may be happiness. Not what others set as goals or standards for us. What we set, and what we find to be fulfilling.
Covid let us lose sight of our self-worth. We became immersed in a variety of negative thoughts, feelings and reactions. Yes, Covid changed the world. We allowed Covid to change us.
Is Our Happiness Measured by Our Stress, Our Goals, our Freedoms, and Our Passions?
Yes. And No. What we may think of happiness may not really be happiness, but a momentary euphoria, or simply a break from an oppressive situation. Or we may be generally happy and content, but not satisfied.
Let’s start with the impact of stress. Stress is bad, right? Wrong. Think of the competitive sports player. The stress that they feel to achieve, or to win, is immense, as is the rigours of preparing. Yet, that stress is good for us. The business person who anguishes over besting the competition, or winning the next big project may feel a different stress, that may or may not be healthy. The labourer who is threatened daily with low income or loss of employment experiences what all of us know to be bad stress.
The difference lies primarily in the amount of control we have over the situation. Yet, studies show that loss of control, on its own, does not lead to unhappiness.
I travel to Mexico regularly, and meet happy, friendly people almost everywhere. The people of the Philippines routinely report high levels of happiness, yet suffer through economic hardships continually. Yet, the Land of Opportunity is full of people dissatisfied with their status. They may have relative happiness, but they have disproportionate stress.
In the 2023 World Happiness Report, Finland ranked #1 for the sixth year in a row, followed by other Scandinavian countries of Iceland and Denmark. The USA ranked 15th, Canada 13th. Factors in this calculation are healthy life expectancy, GDP, low corruption, social support systems, generosity, and freedom to make key decisions.
Based on contributors to the equation such as GDP per capita, one might think that capitalist countries like the USA would lead, but happiness is more than access to money. In fact, money often is a negative that creates disparities, feelings of unrest and injustice, and anxiety and stress. Here, we see a few of the reasons why Americans have higher mental illness than other countries, lower feelings of happiness, higher stress, and greater feelings of dissatisfaction and pessimism.
So, while we pointed out earlier that feeling in control is not as powerful a contributor to happiness as we might intuitively think, the freedom to place ourselves in situations where we have less control, but more freedom to choose that option actually makes us happier. We desire the freedom.
A drive for money does not give us that freedom. In fact, some studies show that, as we approach the $75,000 per year income threshold, money becomes less and less significant to our happiness, but more important to our stress levels.
Americans also are subject to endless media reports about violence and crime, political corruption, with a relatively poor social support network compared to other countries like Finland, Iceland, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and even Canada. This places stress on our feeling of freedom and opportunity.
That only leaves goals and passions, and those, too, may be misguided and manipulated by others. Scandinavia leads the world in happiness because it allows for individual passions, but the pressure of providing for family security, education, and health is left to governments that are not viewed suspiciously like the US system is by its citizens.
“The Time Has Come,” the Walrus Said, “to Talk of Many Things”
Well, at least talk of important things. Mostly, about ourselves. And the things that contribute to our wellbeing. Those things may not even be happiness.
Money. The average Mexican worker earns $609.02 per month, the average Finn makes $4151, the average American earns $4511, and the average Canadian makes $5040. Have you met many unhappy Mexicans? Or Canadians? Or Finns? Yet, the huge disparity between Mexico and Canada or the similarity in income between US and Finland are not reflected in the happiness indices of these countries.
Taxes. Mexico has the lowest personal tax rate, followed by US, Canada, and then Finland, with, by far, the highest tax rate of the four. Yet Finns are more satisfied with their lives, their taxes and their government, than any of the other three.
Corruption. Mexico, inside and outside the country, is view as very corrupt. Most Americans have little faith in the integrity of their officials. Canada is a little more forgiving of their governments. But Finland is very satisfied with their political system.
So, back to money, and its role in our lives. Money is a very poor goal if we want to feel content with our lives. It involves corruption and greed, excess and unfair taxes, and a confrontational effort to grab what we believe to be our share, and our need.
Our passion in North America focuses on achievement in the corporate world, so we can be “comfortable” and satisfied. But it does not work. We give up freedom because we have been enslaved by the myth that capitalism is the only right solution. Indeed, aside from the Scandinavian countries, countries like New Zealand, which also has a semi-socialist approach to governing, also is one of the world’s happiest countries. Being compassionate and considering others, it seems, also frees us to embrace ourselves, knowing that other people “have our backs.”
We allow ourselves to be governed by what other people tell us our passions and goals should be, unlike Finland, where Finns are enabled to seek Maslow’s self-actualization, because they do not need to compete with each other to climb the status ladder. Their status is set internally.
Questions we Should Ask Ourselves
How do I define happiness for myself (not others)?
Am I happy most of the time but don’t know it?
Am I defining myself and my emotions through other’s eyes?
Do I feel free?
Do I have too much stress?
Is it because of setting the wrong goals for myself?
Is there an imbalance between my levels of stress and my levels of satisfaction or happiness?
Am I setting the wrong goals?
What roles do passion and enthusiasm play in my choices?
What is my relationship to stuff?
What is my relationship to relationships and social connections?
Our key to contentment, or self-actualization and self-worth involves all of these questions that we should ask ourselves, continuously and repeatedly. The answers are personal, not global. Our first step toward a better life is not to make more money, or get a better job, or have a better house. It is to evaluate who we are and who we want to be, rather than what we have or what we want to acquire.
This may sound like minimalism or simple living, but it is a far cry from those two popular trends.
It is not about us, either. It is about us, in relation to the world around us. Yet, it also is about choosing our own best path. Not the easiest, nor the most beneficial to us. It is about choosing our fit.
Should I Consider Minimalism and the Simple Life?
Other people have hijacked the definition of minimalism, and actively have set the “rules” for us to follow. Eschew possessions. Embrace simplicity. Deny yourself the markers of success and happiness that the western world is forcing on us. “The Minimalists” haver, oddly, made millions advocating for getting rid of wealth. Most of their ideas are not sustainable for the majority of us.
Minimalism has become very complex. Simple living has become very complex, too. They are not the same, even though the differences have become very blurred.
Those of us who independently adopted a simpler way of living are, luckily, free of these pressures to conform to the nonconformist lifestyle. We have explored, experimented, and embraced our own version of living happily in a very specific manner. There are no real labels that force us into a mold, because there are no real rules to finding what fulfills you.
That is correct. I did not say “makes you happy,” or “satisfies you.” A good cup of coffee can do that for a few hours. So can a candy bar, for a few moments. But your happiness is less significant than your feeling of fulfillment. In other words, your self-actualization.
And, another fallacy about the simple life and minimalism. They are not permanent solutions, for the most part. Just like a fad diet, there are influences at play, life evolution, and emerging demands that gnaw at the simple life, eroding it as surely as a waterfall over mountain rock.
Fulfillment, though, evolves with your changing life circumstance. Fulfillment demands that you are able to focus on meaningful goals. They usually are evergreen goals, too.
The bet part about the choice of focusing on fulfilling goals is that you do not have to throw away what is important to you, or deny yourself the creature comforts. Focus just drives to emphasize the important stuff and experiences. The material stuff may very well fade in significance. In other words, you could easily still remain a millionaire and be leading a focused, fulfilled, and possibly even simple life.
It is a diet without giving up anything of importance to you.
So, move over, self-denial. Make room for self-fulfillment. And for passion and enthusiasm.